Somedays I wish that this blog was anonymous. I wish that it wasn't Miranda's Minutes, that is was Girl Unknown's Minutes. I do not think that I am a natural writer, I stress and strain over the words and rhythm. But I enjoy being able to sort things out (maybe just a little) in my head and put it down on paper (or really I should say type it out on the computer-but you know what I mean.) I love to go back a month, a year, to see what I was thinking or what was going on. Granted, I don't have a kid that I can record every milestone, which I think is maybe the most popular reason for these kinds of blogs. But I am pre-kid ( no everyone, I'm not pregnant) and maybe someday I will look back at this time when all I had to worry about was getting myself up and to work, and what color to paint the kitchen.
But there are days when I have so much going on my head that there's no way I can sort it out here, or anywhere. I talk myself in a loop. And there's personal things that I'm not sure that I'm ready to share with the Internet. And maybe it's really not the Internet that scares me, maybe I'm not sure that I'm ready to share it with those close to me outside of the Internet.
And maybe I'm most scared of putting those thoughts out there into complete, understandable sentences (well, hopefully, I shouldn't get too ahead of myself and my grammatical abilities.) It might make them more real and more tangible and more heavy for myself. Yet I feel that if I don't allow myself to feel those depressing, hard thoughts, that maybe I will let myself just float on and someday I will look back and think "If I had only...."
I have prayed that the Lord would give me strength and patience. But the funny thing is, that He would never just give you more strength and more patience-he will give you something to work through and deal with to gain those qualities. And I read these other blogs that have such amazing stories, women who have gone through so much, and I am touched and challenged and encouraged by their stories, these women who have amazing things to say and tell. And I sit here struggling to figure out how to say anything that seems relevant or amusing or even half interesting. And then I pray, Lord-please never give me the challenges that these women have faced, I am not as good as them, and I don't know that I could survive their hardships.
And I feel like He says, don't worry about other people, you have your own story to tell. What will come, will come. Turn only to me, because you never will have the strength alone, but when you turn to me I will hold your hand and wipe your tears when needed. Do not feel useless, because I have much use for you.
------------------------------------ So, this post, this part of my story, turned out nothing like what I started to write. And since I try not to edit out anything that I have said, I will post this-and maybe it'll seem like a bunch of nothing to most of you, but maybe one person will have that same prayer. I am not and never will be an eloquent speaker or prayer or anything, but maybe someone will get it, whatever it is that I'm saying. And maybe this is just for me, so that in a year or five or ten, I will look back and remember what I thought and said, and be able to known then how the Lord has held my hand and wiped my tears and made me useful.
I want you all to know that though I may not send you a Christmas card this time of year- I am thinking about you, my dear friends. And so, I thought I would include on here what I am sending out in my Christmas cards. (And by that I mean handing to you at one of our Christmases, if I see you, or may possibly get in the mail by New Years if I don't.)
So Merry Christmas from our family to yours:
It’s been over 2 years Since Mark and Miranda said “I Do” They’ve never sent a Christmas Card So it’s time to catch up on what is new
After the wedding was done To Enid, Ok they went Got red dirt on the truck But learned Kansans they were meant
Clay Center, the call said A job opening for Mark Run the local elevator And an idea was sparked
We’ll be closer to home Miranda’s family and K-State And to Mark’s family farm It all sounded so great So calls were made 2 week notices put in A rental house was found A smaller place there’s never been
Miranda got a good job A bank teller she is She made lots of new friends And is a money counting whiz
And Mark bought a quarter section Now has land of his own Planted soybeans and wheat You should see how its grown Next came a house Miranda got her home in town Get past the wallpaper And the potential was found
Lots of hard work to be done On both the house and the land But they have the company of each other And man’s best friend
That’s right, a yellow lab Best Birthday present ever Cody, an 80 pound “lap dog” Miranda’s spoiled baby forever
So it’s clear in the end God’s grace and blessings abound We wish you Merry Christmas Be you friend, family or hound
Have you ever noticed that nothing can compare to the movies on "25 Days of Christmas" on ABC Family?
Granted, I do get easily drawn into some horrible reality shows (umm...Jersey Shore, love it! anyone else out there with me?) but for both Mark and I to sit there like we're 7 year old kids watching Spongebob or something, you know it's pretty amazing.
Basically, it's one of the highlights of the Christmas season. Right there around opening gifts and cheese trays.
Back in November, on the Friday after Thanksgiving, Mark and I and my friend Alicia all loaded up in the truck after work and hit the road on the way to Kansas City. I was so excited because we were on our way to see the Comedians of Chelsea Lately.
Chelsea Lately is a show that I have recorded on my DVR, and Mark and I will both watch it, so it's pretty amazing. I record an amazing amount of TV shows, but many of them Mark will not let me watch if he's home-we've got to watch something we both like. Which actually is only fair, since I throw kind of a fit when he wants to watch the Hunting Channel or the Speed Channel all day Sunday.
Our seats were 3 rows back from the stage, on the left side. Awesome seats, hilarious comedians, raunchy humor, and two of my best friends (well Mark has to be my best friend-legally, I think we signed something-and I work with Alicia, so she knows too many things about me-I have to be nice to her.)
It was right about the picture above that the security guard (you know the 120 lb, zit faced little boy that they hire to throw out the troublemakers) told us we couldn't take pictures. So it wasn't until after the show that we got the camera back out. Chuy was sitting in the lobby taking pictures and signing autographs. The line was approximately 2miles long, so we decided to move on, especially considering we had to go back home that same night. But I did hand my camera over to my husband so he could try and snap a picture of Chuy as we left. You know, he's the tall one in this relationship, so I try to take advantage of that when I can.
Above is the picture that he took. Thank you, honey.
So I ducked under and around a few people and snapped this picture of him. Can you see him? It's kind of like a game of Where's Waldo.
Hopefully my poorly drawn arrow and circle will help you locate Chuy. (I am a computer Goddess, me and Paint go way back, I can draw straight lines, and circles with different colors inside of them like no one's business-just don't ask me to use Photoshop.)
We saw Josh Wolfe, the Sklar Brothers, Whitney Cummings, and Jo Koy. They were all hilarious, and while we had seen pieces of their bits on TV, it's so much better in person, with some new stuff thrown in, your friends and a crowd of thousand others laughing with you and some $7 beer. Joy Koy was my favorite, probably because he was drunker than I was. But they were all really really good.
This morning I woke up all ready to Shred-you know, shred away the pounds with Jillian Michaels's 30 Day Shred-because I am tired of being so content. I had my shoes set out, a sports bra ready, and the DVD already in the player. I turn it on downstairs, it's Mark's old TV set with the built in DVD and VHS player. I watch all the boring stuff you can't skip past, I listen to her tell us how it's gonna be, and then I'm ready-I'm at the menu-and because the remote was broken about 3 years ago, I can't change which option it is on on the main menu. I can only hit play, I can't go up or down, and the first thing on the list is a thing called Recommendations-it recommends you do it every day.
That's it, that's what it says. So I read the one little sentenece and it sends me back to the main menu-and because of my broken TV, I can't go up or down. Seriously?
So I take it upstairs-sorry honey, you're just going to have to hear all the major amounts of losing weight that I am going to be doing. I put it in that DVD player, wait for all the unnecessaries that once again you can't skip past, get down on the floor so that I can see our DVD player, and look for buttons or something on it so that I can go up or down on the screen.
I have no idea where the remote is for that thing, it again has no up or down buttons on the DVD player and I am no better off and certainly not thinner! The world is conspiring against me and my fat ass.
Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, but for now, I think I will lay on the couch for just a little while, and get alittle more rest- it's healthy to get lots of sleep, right?
**Update Feb 18, 2010** Just to keep it real, I shredded for 2 whole days in a row about 2 weeks ago, and that's as far as I've made it. Yep, Day 2 of 30 days-and I don't even have the excuse of not being able to figure out the DVD player anymore. I'm just lazy!
Shh....don't tell anyone but I have a secret-I love Christmas shopping. I love that feeling, almost like that of going on a treasure hunt-searching through, around, above, or below. But more importantly I love watching my loved ones open their gifts. I hope that they know how much I care for them, and want them to have something they want, not necessarily need. Something fun or unique, something that they wouldn't necessarily buy for themselves-and hopefully something that won't just sit unused, collecting dust.
And this is probably a good thing, considering the number of people (mainly family) that I buy for. I love me a list and without lists I don't think I would get a thing done. Now don't think that just because I like lists that I am an organized person. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I think I would fall apart without lists. I am such a procastinator and so flighty that if I don't put it down in writing I seem to forget or think that it's not that important. And so when it comes to Christmas presents-I begin making lists in October or so.
Of course, I do typically lose my list though, so it's more like 12 or 15 lists that I have-but still, it helps me to focus, and remember how I'm doing on actually completing the list.
This year I feel like I've got a few presents that I am really excited about. Presents that I believe the recipients are going to love! Now of course I can't tell you about them, everything being a secret is another reason why I love Christmas-but I will tell you that I have made many purchases online this year. I'd like to think that it has helped me to not get to rushed or stressed with the amount of purchases I have to make-but I still fret and worry about when they're getting to my house-gotta check what state they're in today-why did I buy from so many different stores-I've gotta make out a whole other list of purchased gifts that are somewhere between the store and myself, so I know what I'm still waiting on.
But with online shopping, I feel like I can shop around more, find the best deals, and make better decisions. I guess I'll just wait and see and let you know the true success of my online endeavors after Christmas.