The kind of treasure hunt you don't want to find the X (or a +)

I just don't understand why a pregnancy test would be so difficult to find in a grocery store. I was in Manhattan, at the grocery store, and it just so happened that I needed to find such a product ( so that my husband would allow me to fully enjoy my weekend with my beverages of choice.) I'm looking through all the aisles, trying to act as if I'm not searching for something so that I do not get asked what I am looking for. -I hate being asked if someone can help me find something. I know that's juvenile, and they're only there to help me. But I feel like such an idiot in the first place, and then they have to lead me to the aisle and the exact shelf. The only thing that is worse is when they can't find the item either and have to call their manager, they're calling each other on the radio, taking me to a couple different aisles, and then I feel bad, because by the time I get there, I've talked myself out of having to buy such a difficult item. Because of course, if I like whatever the hidden item may be, I have to go buy it a second time and I just might not be able to find it yet again. Or worse, it may not live up to it's Treasure Hunt excursion and excitement. So, I'm happier just wondering around, pretending interest in whatever is in front of me.

But I digress-I searched for the pregnancy test near the tampon section ( I mean it all has to do with down there anyways) near the deoderant and shampoo (personal hygiene maybe?) the baby aisle (kind of the first baby product you need) the aspirin and pain reliever (cause and effect.) I also remembered that the last time in the store in Clay Center, as I was checking out and reading about how Brad and Angelina were over, and Tom was kicking out Katie, I had noticed some pregnancy tests right next to hand sanitizer, decks of cards, and lighters (never would I consider it an impulse buy) so I passed the checkout lines but to no avail. The only other aisle I was thinking about was the one with the condoms and lubes and such. But I missed that aisle somehow, which may be a large factor in the search for the pregnancy test. I mean really, in a college town, at the point where you have to go to the store to get the test, the last thing you want to do is wander around for 15 minutes looking for the test. Enough to make you sick and nauseous just thinking about it.

But, after making a final trip to WalMart before heading home, a stop for a (non-alcoholic at this point) drink, and making it home to my husband, I have no need to worry and have already cracked open my beer to celebrate (which is now allowed by the Dear Husband.) Just think there will be a future day, soon enough, where I will be celebrating a different result with a much different toast.