Monday, January 25, 2010

I hate making up titles

Today my husband got a phone call from a "recruiter" asking if he would be interested in a position with an elevator in Kentucky. Not exactly a job offer, but just one of those things. He jokingly asked me if I would want to move. But the thing is, my heart jumped and I wished that we could just pick up and go. Just leave and live there and experience that. But see there's the whole we own a farm and a house and this is the place that we were meant to settle down at, kinda thing. This area, this location, this lifestyle, it's what we always wanted. But still, for an instance, I wished we could just go.

When we got married, we moved to Oklahoma. We were excited to get away from home for awhile, just be the two of us-figuring out this whole grownup life, marriage thing together-away from the everyday proximity of family and old friends. Not that we ever would forget them, but we just wanted to try something different. And so we ended up in Oklahoma, with promises from his then-company that we would be relocated after 6-12 months, and then again in 12-18months. But instead, we spent every weekend back here in Kansas, and moved back "home" on our 6 month wedding anniversary.

.......So much for the interesting traveling newlyweds that only made it home for the holidays before having to rush off again to a new place, to see and live those things that the newlyweds would never again see or live. That newlywed couple never had a chance.

And I wonder, I wonder what things would have been like. If Mark and I had made different decisions, where would we be? Would we be happy, would we be happier?

With the recent TV show, Buried Life, where 4 guys make their "Bucket List" or whatever you call it, where you write down exactly what you want to do before you die-it's had me considering those questions of importance and life and living. And I thought about it, if I knew that I only had two weeks to live-what would I do? I wouldn't fly to Paris, I wouldn't jump out of an airplane-but instead I would surround myself with my loved ones-my husband, my siblings, my family and great friends. I would love on them, and let them know exactly what I hoped for each of them. We would talk and laugh and remember and create new memories. And the beautiful thing is that's what we're doing now, just without the constant reminder that life can be short. So maybe I should worry more about the moments I am in, as opposed to where I could have been.

And don't worry I still want to fly to Paris and get a tattoo and live my life, but it will still always center around those I love. And that's how I know that we made the best decision for us.

1 comment:

The Darlings said...

That is what my husband and I did. Our families and lives are both in Atlanta, GA and three days after our honeymoon we moved out to Lawton, Oklahoma for a job. We have lived here for 7 months and we miss home like crazy. Unfortunately my program is a two year deal, so we won't be able to move back until then, but we talk about going back all the time. I saw your post and it made me wish we could go back tomorrow!~