What Makes a House a Home?

This whole house thing is going to make me tear out my hair-which considering how annoyed I've been every morning trying to do my hair-may or may not be a good thing. Basically my husband and I have been looking at houses since November at least. And I know that Mark and I are the slowest people ever for making decisions, but this is huge and we wanted to be sure we were making the right decision.

Well then, in February, we changed our priorities and bought 160 acres of land. So , we finally made our way back to start looking at homes again. We've looked at about every house in Clay Center that is for sale under the $115,000 mark. We finally (FINALLY!) made a decision to put an offer in on a house on April 19th. Mind you, this house I do not love, but it has lots of potential, more living space than most, and a good resale value.

Our goal has always been to build our dream house as soon as possible. With the purchase of our land, we hopefully will have built up enough equity that we can do that in about 5 years. So the purchase of this first house is a short term thing, with the major issue being able to resale the house.

But, back to our offer, it was scary! But also really exciting. But by the end of it all, after two days of back and forth and strategy and numbers, we decided to walk away and not accept her counteroffer. This house had been on the market for a whole year and she was just asking too much for a 2BR, 1 Bath. And I did my research and had a pretty good idea what she had payed for it, and I refused to pay $15000 more than what she had payed only 2 years ago. But, I found out that another couple met her price, with the condition of her paying all closing costs, and it annoyed me. That house grew on me, I kinda liked it and the possibilities it had. And now, I can't have it. People at work are trying to help me, saying better they pay too much than you-but I'm just not sure I'm buying that right now. (Ha! I'm not buying anything.)

Now though, I'm just not sure that I'm as happy with the other options we have here in Clay Center. There are some houses, but I'm just not feeling anything. And to make it all worse, we have even more options to add to the mix. There is a house in Linn, which is closer to the farm, and about 20 min. away from our jobs in Clay Center. But with that house in Linn, enters family drama. Or we could always just purchase a cheap-o Doublewide, move it to our land, and just stash away bunches of cash. Or we could try and build now. Interest rates are not going to get any lower.

Plus, my little secret is, and I've just been scared to admit to it, but...... I kinda like living in town. I know-how dare I! Married to a farmer, I know what that means. I've always lived outside of town, and Mark and I decided long ago that we would raise our children on our farm. And eventually I do want to move out there. But for right now, I like being in town, close to the grocery store, close to work, close to people. And with my Mary Kay business, I want to be able to have a room, dedicated only to Mary Kay, in a house that is close to my customers. I want to hold classes, shows, open houses, everything-right there at my own house.

The biggest problem though is that it's really starting to bother me. I'm normally able to shake things off, stay positive and optimistic, and this whole thing really has me going the other way. I really noticed it when a girl from work, who readily admits to being a pessimistic, glass half empty kind of gal, was trying to cheer me up saying, "Don't worry. Everything will work out, stuff happens for a reason." And I just thought, "Nope, not today. Not helping today."

I go back and forth in mind a hundred times a day. I've noticed I'm quieter and more subdued, both of which are not normal characteristics. Golly, it's just tough, and I have not been able to shake it.

So, I'm taking all comments. Pick-me-ups, suggestions, thoughts, opinions, food recipes. Anything. Whatever. All of it. Before I make some rash decision, and end up just buying just to have bought something.